I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
