I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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