if i can run in heels then i can drive
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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