why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
