saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
