You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
