Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize