her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
