ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
