After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
