I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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