Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
