i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
