oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
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