No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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