Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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