i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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