So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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