so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
