Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
