Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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