we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I will be naked everywhere
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
