I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
And then my night got REAL pukey
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
