I think i sorta joined a cult last night
no, he came in my armpit
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
