does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
