i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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