Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
