i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
