is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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