We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
