i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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