YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
