In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
