i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
