Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
