oh god the rape fog is back!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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