oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
