Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
