that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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