i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
