When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
