this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
