just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
