My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
