Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
