I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
