I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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