Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she told me i tasted like america
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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