YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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