you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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