I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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