i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
